Dear Edward Quick,

I think you are stupid to dump me for Kristi, because I feel that I am much more hot and/or attractive and smart than her. She could not make it to the next level. She could not get 1up.

You, on the other hand, have Rice Krispies for finger joints. I appriciate that, but also resent your ability to ignore the silent "ph." Right? Well, techno boy, you know.

You know your penis looks like

ALF.

The end,
MEGAN BOYLE

OKAY!

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