Alright kids.

In case anyone is keeping track of this, I have decided that it is both financially and fun-ly possible for me to stay at DePaul.

Unfortunately, I changed my mind far enough into the year so that everyone I'd like to live with has A) already picked roommates/applied for housing, B) applied for R.A.-dom, or C) snatched people who I'd like to live with in an apartment.

So that leaves only one logical choice for me:

Apply for a random roommate assignment in the most zombie-proof dorm on campus.

(This picture is a bit misleading.)

This mock-apartment complex is the ultimate affordable, college-friendly urban haven for zombie survival.

First of all, Dominicks (our neighborhood grocery establishment) takes up the first two floors of the building.

Necessary food raids, anyone?!

The living quarters exist only from the third floor up, and are only accessible via elevator, a.k.a. SOMETHING ZOMBIES DON'T HAVE THE SMARTS TO WORK.

Also, (now this is a stretch) in case I ever need to hitch a ride on top of the elevated train -- it's just a hop, skip and jump away from the roof. (As if it would even still be running in a class 4 invasion, I know... but it's a neat idea that would probably make it into a Keanu Reeves movie, anyway).

I am getting outrageously pumped about possibly living here.

Also thought about partaking in THE ultimate student experience.

But that's basically a death wish, if ever a class 4 invasion should surface.

Also purchased the Eagle Bowie with Brass Finished Knuckle-guard Handle.

Also, I can run an eight minute mile now.

Chuckle all you want.

But from a former elementary school fattie who gasped for air after a seventeen minute mile, this means a lot.

Also, I dropped my statistics-like math class. It killed my naptime, raped my Tuesdays and Thursdays, and caused painful burning during urination.

I started out with five classes this semester and now I am down to three.

At this rate, I will graduate at a perky forty-one years of age.

But I am taking summer classes at HCC, (un?)fortunately.

And I am thinking about going on The Color Diet.

I just made it up.

It goes a little something like this:

Each day you are only allowed to eat foods that are solely one color.

Monday is Red Day, Tuesday is Orange Day, Wednesday is Yellow Day, Thursday is Green Day (hawhaw), Friday is Brown Day, Saturday is White/Beige Day, and Sunday is a day of rest.

But now I am thinking this just requires way too much effort, and on Wednesday way too much mustard.

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