English Genius You scored 93% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 81% Advanced, and 88% Expert! You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 38% on Beginner You scored higher than 37% on Intermediate You scored higher than 15% on Advanced You scored higher than 97% on Expert

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

Haha. Justified grammar snob.

So some asshole jacked my toothpaste.

But then again, some asshole left it in the bathroom overnight.

It's really flipping nice out lately, except for today when it snowed. But let us not shoot the shit about weather, dear Diaryland -- there is enough smalltalk in this world already.

So I haven't been doing a whole lot of anything. I've adopted the practice of covetting rubber bands as jewelry. Fucked some 16 year old by accident. Paid Leanne to write a paper for me. Started taking my dental hygiene to the water fountain. Bought raisins and grapes in the same market visit without even noticing that raisins are just older, wiser grapes...

I'm really fucking sick of exercising and being health fat-conscious when it comes to food decisions.

I want to just sit on my ass all day and eat shit which will increase my blood pressure and watch movies/play video games with my free hand down my pants.

And wear a baseball hat backwards.

And fuck sluts.

And drink Bud Light.

And listen to Tim McGraw.

And get a spoiler for my truck.

And make fun of gay people.

God. What a life that would be. I would probably curb myself.

Lately I can't for the life of me bring myself to charge my cell phone. I haven't checked my voicemail since maybe the beginning of February; I think after thirteen messages it just starts deleting them.

Because every time I look at my phone it says, "13 VoiceMail Messages."

The next day it will say, "9 VoiceMail Messages."

The next day it will say, "11 VoiceMail Messages."

If my phone were a Tamagotchi, it would have died of starvation in a pile of its own shit by now.

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