Is it completely wrong that I really, really want to make out with and possibly recieve cunnilingus from Paul Dinello's economy-sized pillowlips?

Having a threesome with these two men would nearly complete my existence. Seriously. Just imagine being sandwiched between Stephen Colbert and Paul Dinello. Just think about it.

In true creepy obsessive fangirl fashion, I read his biography on several websites, and it is confirmed that he definitely went to DePaul and took an improv class at Second City. This is the school I go to and something I thought about doing next semester. EEP!

But anyway, I don't know if it's that my boobs are getting bigger or the rest of me is getting smaller (I think it's a little of both), but damn! I got some great tits now! I've never really been a huge fan of them, I mean, they're pretty medioXc0re. But now when I lift one, not only do I feel substantial weight, I also grab a good, round, almost overflowing handful.

In any case, I have decided that I will stop wearing push-up/padded bras because although they are comfy and make my boobs look like sensational, they are false advertising.

I would rather have a guy look at my tits through a t-shirt and think, "hm, that's nice" and be pleasantly surprised when I am naked later than have him think, "WHOA! DYNOMITE!" on first clothed impression and then be let down when we are naked.

I still have not purchased an algebra textbook, and have been to roughly 60% of the 100% of classes I was supposed to attend.

But it mathematically rapes me for three hours and fifteen minutes every Thursday night! During those three hours and fifteen minutes I could be watching Titanic or... Titanic!

And all we're learning how to do is FOIL!

I know! Nigga please, right?!

Bitch been FOILing since the tenth grade.

Also, last night I decided once and for all how I want to emotionally abuse my twins, should I choose to procreate.

(It should be noted that I am genetically predisposed to have twins, since I think it skips two generations. I don't especially like kids, so on the offhand chance that I ever have them, I've always wanted to get twins and treat one normally and do one weird thing with the other one like tell him that all of his teachers secretly carry bombs and if he doesn't spend a cumulative fifteen minutes in the bathroom every day at school, they will blow him up.

You know, or something.)

But okay. So this is what I want to do.

I will treat Kid A (hawhawhaw) normally and have them do normal, easy household chores.

Kid B will be named Rumplestiltskin and the only demand I will make of them will be that he or she and spin straw into gold.

When the task at hand is not completed, I will scream, "WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF RUMPLESTILTSKIN ARE YOU!?!"

Then I will badger him/her with things like, "Your sister/brother shovels the sidewalk, does the dishes, and takes out the trash and never complains that these tasks are 'hard' or 'impossible' to do!

All I ask of you is to do this ONE THING! One simple task, Rumplestiltskin!

Alright, another three hours in the pantry. I am very disappointed with you. Very disappointed."

In related news, I rule.

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