I had an important revelation last night.

See, all of my life I have been looked down upon by my peers because I am nineteen and have never had a job.

But I have money.

Because my parents give me money.

Because we are fortunate enough to have a lot of money.

Some people are not, but we are. This does not mean we are better than everyone else.

Wait, actually, it does.

Right.

Well anyway, I should probably get a job now, because said money is somewhat dwindling away.

But my point is this!

All of this time when you guys have been scoffing at my unemployment, I have been off having fun without you.

And complaining about work/school does not make for interesting conversation.

Jobs... yeah, they don't really sound like too much fun. If having a job is what makes you "responsible" or "grown up" or "sane," I'd really rather not.

It's almost like being poor is something to brag about. Like "hey I'm a poor college student! Yeah! Let's eat some ramen and bond in our misfortune! It will be totally sweet!"

I have sat in on entire fifteen minute long conversations of people "out-pooring" each other. Yeah, you're right, your lifestyle has definitely given you character. Too bad it's the boring character that no one cares about who is a conversational robot.

I am a freaking minority! And if I ever have a problem it's somehow less valid because "OH YOU HAVE LOTS OF MONEY. WHY DON'T YOU GO SPEND SOME OF YOUR MOUNTAINS OF GOLD COINS, SCROOGE MCDUCK." Like poor people somehow think they have more integrity than me.

That's not a nice thought! YOU GUYS ARE POOR, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE INTEGRITY!

My dad put himself through 13 years of college and graduate school and he wanted to make it possible for me to not have to worry about that.

Yes I have an awesome dad.

And it's not like I will not have a job someday when I am done with being a student and have some fancy butt degree. Isn't that what we are in school for? To get a degree so we do not have to have shitty retail jobs all our lives?

Don't give me any of this, "no, I am in college to further my education and become a more colorful, learned person!" bullshit. Oh, you're going to college to learn? So that's why you go to keggers four nights a week and destroy all of the brain cells you've accumulated during class!

Come on. We're all in it for the cheap liquor and poontang.

And maybe there is some satisfaction in making your own money. I wouldn't know. As it is, I'm pretty satisfied spending money that's not mine. Frivolousness is golden (and probably not a real word).

Bottom line: go ahead and can call me a loser mooch to your little heart's content, but we all know you're really just jealous.

Basically you are more skilled at following rules, and I am more skilled at having fun. So you can think you are better than me all you want but we all know that I rule and you... what's the word?... oh, suck pig teats!

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