So Brian and I broke up and formed a marraige pact in the same night. And in that order. And it's okay.

It's just a bad time in my life for relationships, what with Chicago in the fall and attempting to re-stitch some opened scars.

I wish I was one of those people with teflon-coated emotions. I am a highly easy-going kind of gal, but then there's this other part of me that just can't let things go. Mainly because I suck at life.

There's really a lot I don't say in this diarything.

I've been thinking a lot about relationships lately -- it seems like everyone develops patterns in the people they're drawn to/general style and dynamic of their relationships based on deeper-seated problems they need to work out.

I've had a series of short but meaningful relationships that have all taught me something about myself. They never last longer than about a month.

I think it's because I stop myself from getting close. I think I get scared when boys start to really like me. Doesn't make much sense but hey, neither does eating sand.

Of course it's always a lot more complicated than that, but if I were to write a thesis statement on the main glitch in the Megan model girlfriend -- that would be it.

And I do have my own wacky, neurotic reasons for doing what I do which I'm too bored with myself to write about right now.

...

I don't think I'm the only person alive with this urge to complete myself, whether it be through self-actualization or finding my "other half." Or both. It's just tough right now because I don't see either of those happening any time soon.

And I know I have my whole life ahead of me or whatever. But come on now. Nobody listens to that voice.

But. Anyway.

I drove by this farm today and hanging out with the the horses and goats there were two zebras.

A mom and a baby.

No joke.

You bet your ass I took pictures.

Other random tidbits in the recent life and times of me that I'm too cool to just make seperate entries about:

-just spilled water all over myself

-honored the birth of my nation by damaging possibly important brain cells with, among others, some guy who looks like Bluto from Popeye

-got jellie shoes and subsequently, blisters

-smuggled submarine sandwiches into Napoleon Dynamite with Lindsay. The sandwiches? Delicious. The movie? Pretty much the greatest thing ever, GOSH!

-had a night out in Baltimore featuring Kelly, a packed theater, Michael Moore's slightly biased but generally disturbing and powerful feature film, high heels with jeans, the tastiest tapas and paella in the greater metro area, free ice cream, loud Spanish music, and a chef throwing paper at me.

-BLACK HAIR! ON ME! THAT IS ON MY HEAD NOW! I have never looked more like the imaginary sixth female or male Stroke. I've finally assexualized, I think.

-found some pictures of Lindsay and me being stuff from last summer. Here's us being the letter C, q-tips, peanut butter, and adorable.

-that's it.

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