In the words of Ben Folds, "there is always someone cooler than you."

Coincidentally, the someone who is always cooler than you is in fact, Ben Folds.

And here is some proof:

Yup. That's just an every day event for Ben. Getting up, possibly enjoying a toaster pastry, showering or not showering, balding, thinking about his wife the possibility of a girl like me out there who really understands him, cracking the knuckles of his amazing hands, using his amazing hands to romance a piano and play some of the best songs ever written for hundreds of people across the globe, signing my t-shirt and not hearing my witty remark.

You know. Protocol.

Ben, since I didn't want to sound like a glop earlier tonight when we crossed paths, and since there is no way you will ever read this --

I love you. I love you so much. I want you to be the father of my babies because you will write songs like "Gracie" for them and songs like "The Luckiest" for me and you will probably go bald but I won't care because I love you for the person you are, not the hair you do not have.

And I know you're married. But come on, we got the same handwriting:

!WHAT UP WITH THAT!

I am kicking myself for not bringing my camera so I could have a keepsake photograph of you and I awkwardly standing next to each other. Next time. Next time.

Just think, Ben -- someday, this could be you and me:

Except I am a girl. And our picture would be a live action shot of you giving me a high-five.

...please?

P.S. -- This has kind of been eating me up inside, but okay. I'm just going to come right out and say it. Sometimes... I listen to other musicians. But I'm thinkin' about you the whole time, baby!

P.P.S. -- Be on the lookout for two girls in a band consisting solely of alternative percussion and maybe a guitar or Casio keyboard sometimes. We'll be called either "Sparkly Pink Abs," "Early Balding Men and the J-Step," or "The Just Friends."

Shit, I love it when Lindsay and me make fake bands.

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