So you know in Hedwig and the Angry Inch when the first lines of "Tear Me Down" are, "I was born on the other side / Of a town ripped in two" and he's talking about being born in the Eastern quarter of Berlin during the Berlin wall era?

I think it would be so much better if he was born in Sykesville and was making a reference to the Sykesville/Eldersburg split.

It's basically one town.

I basically think I am hilarious.

And I got heterosexual A's for the first time since ninth grade!

And I'm my really cool dad is spending irrational amounts of money to get previously cheap tickets to a sold out Franz Ferdinand show! See, I don't do things "last minute." I do things "post minute."

And I went to the Bar Mitzvah of Jake Appet (a.k.a. accomplished concert pianist, sci-fi writer, do-gooder, child prodigy, future snatcher of my last name).

Bar Mitzvahs are weird to go to when you're not thirteen or forty plus. Or if you're not Jewish so you don't get to sing along with the service.

The best part about Florida was that I got to watch David Scott Tidmarsh win the Spelling Bee about 40 gabillion times because of limited channel selection. I seriously will never get tired of watching that boy hide behind his number card. He is so the kid from Magnolia who pees his pants on the game show.

And if the Polyphonic Spree are indeed a cult, I want in. Those guys are like Godspeed You Black Emperor on heavy antidepressants. Have a day? Gladly!

Also, I think if it weren't for the fact that I hate driving/being responsible for transportation, I would love to be an airplane pilot.

But I'd make it so my only available hours would be during sunsets and sunrises.

Actually, I'd rather not be in charge of the plane.

I'd rather be the backseat driver who sits in the cockpit and looks out the window.

And by "backseat driver" I mean "girl who makes bad aviation-related jokes and occasionally inquires about what all those buttons and knobs do."

One last thing: Lindsay and I decided that Weezer is like the kid who did lots of really great stuff in their early years, but down the line they fucked up in some major way; you still love them and talk about them as if they're still in their glory days. And now they're about to do something else, and it could either be incredibly great or incredibly awful.

It's that "cringing before the bang" part.

Kind of like Russian Roulette.

Or watching me play sports.

Speaking of cringing before the bang...

There is a switch on the dashboard of my car that looks a lot like one of these:

Only it doesn't do anything.

So I've come to the conclusion that it used to be a passenger seat ejector switch.

But too many people died from that, so now it just lies useless on my dashboard.

It's almost... a... visual manifestation of the previous owner's feelings of guilt and remorse...

The sort of... confession... of the previous owner...

On... my dashboard...

Is a... confession...

You know... like... the... you know...

IT'S LIKE DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL HAWHAWHAWHAWHAHWHAW!

(Why didn't I just end this with the Weezer comment?)

<< >>