I'm debating becoming totally scene and dyeing my hair black and giving myself wee little bangs.

Because I'm getting bored with this brownination.

And I have a bruise that covers the entire back of my thigh from me being dumb and thinking I could play "Can't Touch the Floor" with some unstable ottomans.

(Unstable Ottomans = cool band name?)

("Can't Touch the Floor" = hot summer hit single?)

I've never had something be swollen and purpliblack for five days straight!

So I guess I can cross that off of my list of things to do before I die.

And my driving instructor, whom I will now be referring to as Pauline, is turning into being a pretty awesome lady.

She takes me to neat little coffee shops and Goodwill and buys me things.

She whispers when she talks about gay people.

Today she told me she loves driving with me because it's like driving with a friend.

(A friend who doesn't drive very well.)

Yeah, it's kinda weird.

But nice.

And boy is it weird to watch t.v. after you haven't watched it for awhile.

I actually became nauseated yesterday after two solid hours of Mtv. I'm not just saying that. I felt the vom.

But I did see a preview for a movie called Supersize Me, which might be the best thing ever.

And tonight Lindsay and I are going to a SUPER TOP SECRET SHOWING OF SAVED AND WILL PROBABLY END UP HORRIBLY OVERPLAYING JOKES ABOUT PATRICK FUGIT'S NAME!

And a couple days ago someone from my 5th grade class (who I haven't seen since then) didn't recognize me until I told him that I was "the fat kid who wore stretch pants and liked cats."

And I think "River" by Joni Mitchell is the saddest, prettiest, almost Christmas song ever.

It also kind of makes me want to get freaky. But that tender, L.L. Bean winter issue catalog, snuggly ski resort kind of freaky. I think it's the elongated high notes.

I love those guys.

P.S. - FEMBONER

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