the survey, the survey, what what, the survey
11:29 p.m. on 04-16-04


The hip thing to do is to acknowledge where you got these from, and who am I to question what's hip? So, I took this from Betsy and Jen, but I think it can be credited to Megan Pierce.

P.S. -- go listen to Franz Ferdinand.

ANGER

1. Who did you last get angry with?
I got kinda mad at this really mean lady in the Subway line today. She was giving me sass.

2. What is your weapon of choice?
You will never beat me in a staring contest. Fuck guns. I will LOOK AT YOU.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Yeah but shit, I only hit him 'cause I love him so damn much!

4. How about of the same sex?
"I never punch a woman... YET!" --my totally rockin' t-shirt. And Ill Mitch.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Haa... well, the last person who I actually had a dialogue with who was angry at me was my mom.

6. What is your pet peeve?
Loud chewers, mouth breathers, movie talkers, noisy sleepers, and most Republicans.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
It depends on how much I liked you in the first place.

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
Poop.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
3something.

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
"Hey Megan Boyle.. if you see this ...." OH MEGAN BOYLE SAW IT ALL RIGHT! WHAT IS UP BETSY HANSEN! HOW LONG WILL WE CONTINUE THIS CHARADE BEFORE ONE OF US CALLS THE OTHER?! Hey, I don't know your phone number.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
"I would do it if I wanted to... but I don't." (in regards to calling this driving school lady tonight).

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
Yes. That food dehydrater is freaking amazing... though I'm sure it strikes fear in the hearts of lettuce everywhere. (Sometimes I am just too punny for my own good).

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
Tomorrow morning.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
If I am hitting the snooze repeatedly, which I usually am, I am probably not aware enough of my existence to count how many times I hit it.

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Goddamnit. It's a survey about the seven deadly sins, of course I have to mention Starbucks. Okay. You win. Valencia orange mocha.

2. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
Tequila came over and brought some friends, whose names I forgot.

3. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
Yep.

4. Do you have an issue with your weight?
I could lie and say I don't care about my weight, but it really has been an ongoing issue with me my entire life. I'm not fat, but I'm not as thin as I'd like to be. I think this issue just goes along with the gender, unfortunately.

5. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
I really like waffles with ice cream. But other things are good, too.

6. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought food?
No, because contrary to popular belief, I am not Wile E. Coyote.

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked?
In the flesh? I don't know, it's one big naked blur up here. I'ma say over 20 but under 33.

2. How many people have seen YOU naked?
Oh man, does infant nudity count? Let's just go with, "hopefully less than one hundred."

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of *your gender of choice* during a normal conversation?
I'm sure it has happened, but there is no way to nonchalantly cover up staring at the mancrotch.

4. Have you had sex?
Yes but I take it back.

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of *your gender of choice*?
HAAAAAAANDS. (Lips can come too).

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
Heehaw. No, but I've been propositioned by a wandering crack fiend. He asked for my heart, but I just gave him my chicken strips.

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD?
"STD" is just an "UPI" away from being "STUPID"

8. Have you ever had to get tested for pregnancy?
No, but while we're on the topic of pregnancy... I think if I ever saw a guy wearing one of those "IT STARTED WITH A KISS BUT IT ENDED UP LIKE THIS!" shirts to be funny, he would be in trouble because I wouldn't be able to control my hump reflex.

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?
One, but I don't really use it. Credit cards are a lot like cell phones in that everybody has them but we'd all be a lot happier if we didn't.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
I feel like I should feel guilty for liking Walmart. I feel guilty about not feeling guilty about liking Walmart.

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Did you guys ever see the movie Blank Check about the kid who makes a blank check out to himself for a million dollars? I think I would do what he did. But with fewer elaborate toys and more rock stars and world travel.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Famous.

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
Doubtfully.

6. Have you ever stolen anything?
Weird stuff that nobody wants.

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
On my old computer I had a little over 1300. On this one I'm getting close to 200 (but I've only been using it for three weeks.)

PRIDE

1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
Most of my accomplishments don't make me proud, just... pensively realistic. I don't really focus on them too much. Bragging has always been synonymous with overcompensation in my book.

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
I don't know, they're asleep, but I'll ask them later.

3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
This is sounding less and less like a silly questionnaire and more and more like the backbone of a college essay.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
I'm sure I would be annoyed if it ever happened, wokkawokkawokka!

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
It's called "Howard Community College."

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
Nothing too HBO movie-worthy

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
Well, I think I aced my studio midterm. And I made my mom snortlaugh.

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
My friends own people? Wow, neat. Go go gadget fascism.

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
It's a tie between the Kirsten and Kelly, because I'm sure both of them would use a lot of orange and maybe throw some trampolines in the mix. Lindsay would also be awesome because I think she would come up with some artful uses for gag vomit.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
Stephen Hawking pre-Lou Gehrig's disease, because I would know all the secrets of the universe and STILL ENJOY HOT SCIENTIST SEX!

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
I think there's a strong possibility with that whole Ed and Kristi thing, but I've EternalSunshineoftheSpotlessMind-ed that whole thing.

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
I wouldn't complain if the tits were bigger.

6. What is something you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
X-TREME X-TROVERSION!

7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
Well, you didn't give me a chance to. You just, you know, barged right in here with your interesting themes and questions of substance and swept me off my feet.

8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
Lust. And Rock and Roll.




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