"I'll stomp a mudhole in you and walk it dry!" (A Note to Meggers, Farkas; p. 1, yr. 1999)
1:49 a.m. on 04-01-04


In case you were looking for my youth, I just cleaned it out of a bunch of drawers. I saved most of it.

This is, of course, the "youth" that is relative to my tender age of eighteen.

So to rephrase this entire schpiel: I just found a bunch of notes, photos, clippings, and other various artifacts from my middle school/early high school years.

I have found documented proof that Katie Farkas is the funniest person ever. Which got me to reminiscin'.

Katie and I used to do a lot of really wacky, random stuff which I'm sure contributed to my long-standing reputation of "that weird girl who laughs at weird things and has weird friends and wears weird clothes. And does drama sometimes, I think."

Everything that happened at Liberty High School was pretty freakin' hilarious to us, in some way or another. I think mainly "another."

I feel like we were the Mike Nelson and Robot Pals of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 to the bad science movie of high school.

(I call Robot Pals.)

There is a video somewhere in my house of us seeing who knew the most words to Charlie Daniels' "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." (For the record, I'ma say that I did, because who needs the truth when you have lies?)

There was other goofy stuff (like a concept we developed called "Interpantal Cantercourse") on the video, co-created by Stephanie Wright (a.k.a. the Alvin to our Simon and Theodore).

(Nevermind, Steph was more of a Simon).

We were in the Goldfish Mafia for awhile. I forget what the details of this were, but I know it was started by this crazyawesome girl named Kelly Balk who got kicked out of Catholic school for, among other reasons, saying she was in a pretend gang called "the Goldfish Mafia."

Being in the Goldfish Mafia meant you had a bangin' nickname and a super power. I am kicking myself because I forget my nickname, but my super power was that I could "whomp bad guys with my big-ass head."

One day I started calling her "Peebo Farko" and I forget why I stopped. I'm starting again, Katie Peebs.

Even though I kinda cringe at this now, I would not be properly honoring the memory of fifteen year old Katie and I if I did not mention this, because it was such a big joke with us.

So we used to rewrite popular songs to parallel our love interets.

My shining glory was a rewrite of Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady" to fit Katie's bouncy, anything but gangsta object d'amour.

Another fun thing we did was write "PUDDING" over and over on a piece of paper, covering its entire front side, and at the bottom it would say, "...and celery. But just a little celery." Then we'd fold it up, note style, and write "PRIVATE! DO NOT READ!" on it and then stuff it in this kid's locker next to hers.

We did this every day for about a month, with new subjects and closing lines.

We also did this thing where she'd say, "I'm sure we'll soon find out who killed the Butler -- won't we... MEGAN?!" and then I would turn dramatically and make a face that looked a lot like Mr. Connery's:

Only I had some more diabolical eyebrow action.

That was the thing about our "inside jokes." I don't even think we understood them.

We didn't go to sports functions (except the requisite Homecoming game). We didn't go to Parents On Vacation themed parties. We didn't drink or smoke or have sex. We didn't run for the S.G.A. We didn't go for joyrides. We didn't save up to buy Abercrombie jeans.

We just laughed a lot.

I don't feel like I was missing out on anything.

---

Bonus feature!

Now, you at home can watch Katie's and my friendship grow like a Chia Pet on steroids!


Katie and I first bonded through a mutual desire to be annoying in "The Music Man."


An entire year later, and we still didn't have any better hand gestures.


This one time we got on a bus and didn't look like people anymore.

Time out for a fun fact: Katie listed one of her nicknames in our senior yearbook as "Creepy redheaded girl," and significantly upped her coolness factor in doing so!


Another year passed, and I started wearing ties for belts before you knew it was cool. Katie, on the other hand, grew a stringy, flesh-toned frontal tail which would later be removed through complex surgery.


I just like this because I am extra shiney and Katie looks like a stylishly dressed vampire zombie.

(P.S.: It's no camera trick -- my dress really was that ugly. But on the upshot, it only cost me $4.)


Did you know that Katie is left-handed and got new glasses?


This one features a potato nose.


This one comes with an abnormally large head.


But they're both pretty hot anyway.




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