"Kiss me, I'm Irish!" just isn't demanding enough.

"Kiss me, I'm Irish and I will staggeringly throw punches at your blurry form while muttering things like 'blarney' and then maybe blow Jameson-scented chunks on your shoes if you don't!"

Yeah, that might work.

(It's okay, I'm Irish, I can like... make fun of my peeps.)

(Um, but sorry Dad.)

(And Mom.)

(And George Bernard Shaw.)

(And certain hobbits.)

(And Lucky Charms guy.)

(And Michael Flatley: Lord of the Dance.)

(And The Cranberries.)

(And a small portion of most Americans.)

(If it's any consolation, I'm definetly going to try to integrate the word "blarney" into conversation a lot more often now that I remembered that it's a word.)

(I will eventually drop these parenthesis, too. But don't push it. It's a deep, cold swimming pool outside these punctuation floaty wings.)

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