OH MY GOD.

SOMEBODY HELP ME.

I AM DYING FROM BEING TOO BORED.

I AM 18. THESE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FUN-FILLED GLORY DAYS.

THE ONLY INTERESTING THING IN MY LIFE NOW IS THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON.

AND MY ENGLISH CLASS FULL OF PEOPLE WHOSE COLLECTIVE MOTTO IS "I'D RATHER BE CLUBBIN'/WATCHING NASCAR/HAVING HERPES-RIDDEN ANONYMOUS SEX"

Okay. I thought, "Eldersburg? Okay. That's fine for now. That's better than being miserable in Philadelphia. I'll go to real college as soon as possible, and in the meantime I can further my education with some upper-middle class kids who don't know what they want to do with their lives yet."

Silly, SILLY ME.

Poorness is awesome. Whatever. I don't care. It's not a status thing, really.

You guys are just SO INCREDIBLY STUPID.

I'm no Paris Hilton.

But you aren't either, so put on some clothes.

I can't wait to get an Oscar for gaining 30 pounds and playing you in a small-budget independent movie that no one saw.

Nobody likes you except people like you and that doesn't count, because you're all horrible, hopeless scabs on the decaying carcass of strip town life.

Stop patronizing me because I'm smarter than you.

Go watch MTV or get pregnant or something.

<< >>