See, it's okay not to like high school. It's even expected of kids these days to not like it.

But you're a real nerd if you hate college.

Right?

So because I don't have these amazing connections with people I've known for a little over 8 weeks, I'm thinking I'm doing something wrong.

I'm just... you know... being Megan... doing my Megan thing... and it's just alright I guess.

I hated high school classes but loved (read: most) high school people. (Which is weird to say, but in comparison to the social circle here, high school seems like a gangstas paradise).

Now I love college classes but... well, not hate, I guess I just don't have any real connections with these people.

I could. I like them. But it's just not happening. And I'm not blaming it all on them, but it wouldn't be wrong to say that they're pretty inclusive and selective of who their friends are here.

I feel like I'm in survival mode. All the time.

And I'm genuinely happy for all of you guys who are having a blast right now with your new best friends and stuff.

Really.

I just wish I could have it too.

And it makes me sad.

And I'm not a sad lady.

But I am today. And yesterday. And all last week. And last month. And the month before that.

I wasn't expecting it to be like this. It's never been like this.

Maybe my expectations are just too high.

Or maybe it's just because recent events have been sucking.

But I've really never felt this icky before.

It almost makes me want to transfer to some liberal arts school with a good drama department, but I know that won't help me in the long run and my education in this is what matters and I'll have a good professional life yadda yadda yadda...

But what's the use living a "good life" if you're not happy?

There are a million other things I could do with my life than acting. I just don't want to.

And it bites my butt.

Sorry for complaining. But you would too if life sucked this much right now.

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