Eeeeuuhh.

Random hook-up thing does not agree with me anymore.

I don't think I have ever felt like more of a prostitute -- except for maybe that one time when that guy paid me for sex. (ba-dum chiiing!).

And they're listening to AC(lightning bolt)DC in the building next door and Lindsay and Kim are asleep and Phoebe is on the phone and everyone else is out partying.

So it's just you and me, d-land.

Wanna hear about the dirty thing I did last night that could've very well permanently fucked up my friendship with this boy?

Nah, me neither.

I just feel like someone stole a big chunk out of me. Or my heart just shrank two sizes. Like the Grinch.

Alcohol makes me horny in a really bad way. Horny in a way where I don't stop fooling around with this guy even when my roommate who likes this guy walks in on us.

Oh snap.

OH SNAP.

So I think I'll go join a convent or... nunnery or... something.

I like saying "nunnery" more than I like saying "convent," even though "nunnery" is not a real word. (edit: I have now been informed that "nunnery" is indeed a real word. Pardon.)

Ahhh. I'm not as sorority girl as I sound.

Really.

I am a fairly domestic youngperson.

Who wants a hug.

And a DeLorean.

And a working indoor plumbing system.

And a Jerry Maguire speech.

And something to fill the hole.

And someone to kick me for being so emo. Tional. Emotional.

And someone to pick me up and hug me after that other person kicked me.

And then the person who kicked me to kick the person who hugged me because that kid is a fuckin' PUSSY!

And then the person who hugged me to show a previously undiscovered side of their personality and punch the person who kicked them (and me).

So then they get into this big fight.

And I cheer for both teams and the hottest one wins and we get married and live happily ever after and laugh until we fart.

The end.

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