In the immortal words of that guy who sang "Oh What A Night" (I think it was either Frankie Valley or David Lee Roth) -- oh, what a night.

The LinZ and myself ventured off to the parallel universe of Frederick, MD to see the off, off, off, off, off Broadway production of my most favorite show/play/movie/soundtrack/everything ever: Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

Even though neither of us have any sense of direction/sense to actually READ the directions, we only kind of got lost once sort of.

And it was fun anyway.

The show. Sweet Jesus. SUPREME, folks. Absolutely. One of the top 10 funnest times I've had. GO SEE IT. NOW. OR TOMORROW. OR MAYBE THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. OR SOMETIME SOON.

We were in the super-front! We got to have a table because we are cooler than you!

And I had an exchange with Hedwig!

He/she was talking about how he/she booked a gig at the Sizzler and I nodded my head like "heeeell yeah," and then he was like "ah, see, you know what I'm talking about!"

And I was like "mmmHMMMM broth--umm, sista!"

But actually I just nodded and smiled knowingly so as not to detract from the monologue.

HOT DAMN! And... SOOOOO GOOD!

I had my doubts, because I didn't think anyone could play Hedwig as flawlessly as my sweet sugar daddy John Cameron Mitchell... but this guy more than exceeded my expectations.

Except he wasn't that pretty. Like my Johnny.

The music was, of course, spectacular. Even if you've never seen the show, you'll love the music. Just buy the CD and your ears will thank you.

GOD. Wow. OK. Nice. Lovely. And good.

But why am I always attracted to gay guys? Or maybe just this one?

Still, why is that? Why does he have to be gay? That's just not fair. As Lindsay pointed out, "yeah, how come the gay guys get John Cameron Mitchell on their team but we're stuck with John Goodman? That's not a fair exchange!"

I actually can't decide if he's better looking with or without his Hedwig makeup. This is weird to me. Allow me to present a series of visual aides to help you understand the varying degrees of sexiness.

Okay. So he's a little womanly. But there is a penis under there somewhere, and I am down with that.

If I had a weiner, it would totally be bonerized right now.

See, here we have a perfect compromise. Boy with make-up. And sweat. And minimal clothes.

See what I mean. It's... hard to decide. So I just look at them all and wish I were a 38 year old gay man.

In any case, these guys are creative geniouses who deserve a big prestigious award, or at least an encouraging pat on the back. It's good that they've already gotten both.

Man. With a little Megan-lovin', they'd totally switch teams.

By the way, the other dude is Stephen Trask -- a.k.a. the man behind the music. Or Jesus. You know, whichever.

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