Lizzle Kizzle has already posted this on her dia-rizzle, but I feel obliged to reiterate, because it is so frigging bizarre.

Mormans can't masturbate.

I mean... they have the physical capability to, but despite that fact, they just decide not to rub their humanly parts because they think that God doesn't like it.

So I'm most likely on God's hit list or something. And Myles Kitchen is most likely Satan.

And Nick Rigby most likely has red hair now, thanks to my mad hair dying skillz. And Lindsay's moral support.

Nick is a rock solid, tantric Mormon. (Which is kind of like if Sting and Jesus had a baby.)

Tantric because he's (presumably) never had an orgasm, and rock solid because he is uber-beefy. But not icky, big muscle-y beefy. He's just... lean and beefy.

Too bad I'm a vegetarian.

I'm not sure what that metaphor was supposed to mean. It just seemed to fit in context.

Actually, I am debating bringing chicken back into my diet, because it is so damn tasty. Or at least maybe introduce it in some kind of a trial period.

Oi vey. I'm weak.

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