Me = wuss

Me < wuss

Wuss > me

Dickhead > or = me

WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY am I such a WUSS!?

Just around him. It's like my psyche's cruel joke on me. The one person who I want to be myself around, I turtle up with. (Meaning I go into my shell when I'm around this fellow -- I know, bad analogy, sorry).

I feel like such a wank. This is what happened in North Carolina. We liked each other and didn't know it until the very last day and and and and AND WHAT GOOD WAS IT THEN?

Note to self: if he asks if you want a ride home it means he wants to spend more time with you... so that means you should take him up on that offer, not say "oh, um, well I would but... but... "

And if people are making "do it, do it!" gestures around you with him just standing there and you STILL SAY NO, you should probably repeat the first grade.

Because you are so daft! (!!!!!)

Those "do it" gestures are the worst. They just make you feel so incompetant.

Though I know they're meant for encouragement. But they really just make me more nervous and I involuntarily dial random cell phone numbers just to act like I have a reason to not be in this situation.

I really hate making big deals out of small things, which is weird because that's what I'm doing RIGHT NOW and I need to stop because it is a silly thing to do.

In other words, if someone other than me were saying this, I would want to smack them.

But I just like a boy, and it makes me do nutty things. Like involuntarily snort-laugh and suddenly become void of all interesting things to say.

There are just so many complications around the whole "area"... it makes it weird...

Merp.

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