I meant to write about last night last night, but then I didn't, so here's what happened.

First, LinZ, Kelly and me went to Taco Bell and got a free drink because we were pretty. The fact that we were friends with the cashier helped, too.

Then LinZ had to work, Walmart style, so K. Mo and me went to the Inner Harbor.

It was a riot, folks.

I returned home with a condom, a packet of information on AIDS, some shiny gold boxers covered in cheetahs, 4 super bounce balls, and a cocker spaniel t-shirt, among other things.

We thought we were going to take the metro... but we thought wrong. Apparantly, the metro is this place right smack dab in the middle of the highway, where it is virtually impossible to get to.

I think the entrance might be located in a parallel universe.

But somehow we managed to get ourselves to Baltimore.

And we listened to "Mi Gusta Mueve Mueve" really loudly and gave some construction workers "the nod."

But because of the metro mishap, we really didn't know how to get back home. So we decided to go to Barnes and Noble and Kelly copied down a map on my stomach.

It tickled a lot, but it really helped us out in the longrun.

Then we got some of those "put your name on rice" things. I opted for the Mexican flag keychain. Mine says "Dwayne," and Kelly's says "Domingo."

See, Kelly's boyfriend is named Domingo, so hers actually makes sense.

I, on the other hand, just like the name "Dwayne."

And then we got some fries and I gave Kelly $3 to eat her napkin.

So she did.

Then she said she'd give me a dollar if I ate mine, and seeing as how I was a little short on cash money all stars, I did.

I'll be sure to tell you guys what my poo looks like.

Isn't that an odd thought? Everybody poops. Mark Wahlberg takes a shit. So does Fidel Castro. So does Heidi Klum.

Well, I'm not too sure about Heidi, because I don't think she eats.

She probably has little rabbit poops, if anything.

Ick. That was a weird tangent.

Whenever I see the word "tangent," I think of "Ted Nugent." I don't know why, it just kind of... shows up.

And tomorrow I embark on a college visit avec mes parents.

We are going to Indiana, the "um, I guess we matter... kind of... " state.

Our chosen mode of transportation is the aeroplane.

If you give me $15, I will scream "oh my god, I forgot to turn off my bomb!!!!" mid-air.

But then they would probably throw me out of the plane or severely beat me and the $15 wouldn't do me much good, so nevermind.

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