Long story elongated, I heard footsteps downstairs and a door opening and closing so I called my parents who called the cops while I locked myself in the bathroom and armed myself with a can of aerosol hairspray and scissors and my dog peed everywhere and I wrote the longest sentence known to man.

Yeah.

And to make matters worse, I got my period as soon as the cops got here. And I was wearing my favorite pants. Sans panties.

But gross.

Like you need to know that.

Anyway, whoever was here left. I think. The po-po searched the house and my mom wouldn't stop hugging them.

I was just worried they would find the traffic cones, road signs, and other random (read: stolen) government pariphinalia I have scattered around my room and make me do community service or something.

Bomb threats, obsethed kids, people walking around my house, and a new blender -- all in one week!

The drama never stops here! (I'm pointing to myself).

But on the less eventful side, I read Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower today.

Yep. The whole thing. My eyes hurt.

In some parts, it reminds me of that Volkswagen Cabrio commercial with the kids in the car riding to a party and "Pink Moon" is playing and things are very artsy and nostalgic.

It's a really fabulous book, I didn't want it to end.

And sometimes it's funny when it's not supposed to be.

Take the main character, for example. His name is Charlie.

Charlie. Never. Stops. Crying. Ever. And he says "incidentally" a lot. Then he cries some more.

He talks about liking The Fountainhead, one of my all-time favorite books. Overall, he's a pretty cool guy.

And I pictured him as being really hot, which made the book easier to read.

And in the book, the phrase "on the bus" is mentioned three times.

It made me think of myself.

And why I'm "onthebus."

I kind of forget why. I think it was some inside joke Katie, Betsy and I had sophomore year. But I forget why it was funny.

I guess I'll fake laugh anyway, to try to recreate some ancient memory of when "onthebus" made me laugh for real.

Aw. Now I feel like Charlie. He's always saying stuff like that.

Hot diggety, that was a good book.

Go read it, your inner angsty teenager will thank you.

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