Is there something sinful about finding Myles Kitchen attractive?

Are his clingy, tapered jeans really that unappealing?

Has his floppy, "I mean business" haircut totally assexualized itself?

The answer, my friends, is no. Yet you give me the freakiest looks when I mention that I like him in more than just a "hey, let me see last night's homework" kinda way.

He definetly puts the "sex" in "assexual."

Yeah.

And he's really smart, which makes him really hot.

He is Doogie Howser, boy genious smart.

I would really like to be stuck on an elevator with him, because I bet he could get us out in about 15 minutes and win a Nobel prize or something.

He looks like what Edward Norton and a bunson burner's child would be. He's so bumbley and goofy and socially inept. Le sigh.

Actually, I think the issue present here is that no one really captivating or attractive attends my high school anymore. So Myles is just saucy by default, I guess.

Wouldn't it be neat if Beck were 17 and went to Liberty High School with me?

We could write songs in his garage, and he could teach me how to play the harmonica. Then maybe we could listen to Pavement and have some awkward teenage sex.

Mmmmm, awkward teenage seeeeeeex....

That's the stuff dreams are made of. If you're a pedofile.

That sounded a whole lot better in my head.

And speaking of waffles, yesterday I turned 17.

We went to J&P's, discussed marine life, rolled our pants up really high, got scornful looks from the cashier at Goodwill, and my mom gave me a pimp hat.

It even has that little hole you put the oversized feather in.

And I got my homecoming dress. It has shoulder pads. It looks like something an Asian grandmother would wear; and I'm all about that.

And oh! I'm in the play, so you should come see it. It's called "The Dining Room." It's in Eldersburg, Maryland sometime in November.

That's all.

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