So Megan, what did you do tonight?

Oh, nothing much. You know, kicked back, read some Chaucer, met my idol. The usual.

You what your what-l?

Oh yeah, there's this actor guy. His name is Edward Norton. I met him and stuff.

AHHHH!!!!!!!

Ok, it went a little like this:

Edward = in bold print because he's so bold.

Me = in regular print, because I am a geek around famous people.

Me: (approaching sheepishly) Umm, hi Mr. Norton.

Edward: Hello, young, fertile, female fan.

(hands him program) Um, well, I feel kind of invasive doing this but uhhhmm...

(*NOTE* touches my hand, Jesus tapdancing Christ!) Oh no, not at all. No problem.

Neat-o! (pause as he USES MY UNIBALL VISION ELITE PEN to sign my program, then admires it a little afterwards). Um, hey, I just applied to the Yale school of drama. Didn't you go there?

Well, yeah, I went to Yale. Just the regular college, though.

Oh, wow. (pause as I stare and smile in googly girlish wonder)

Um. Yeah. Well. Um. You. Yeah. I'm. Um. Yeah. WellIgottagogreatmovieIloveyoucatchyoulaterandstuff.

(smile) Good luck in college.

Thanks, you too!!

("You too"? Ooh, minus 10 cool points for that one)

(and.... end scene).

Oh my freaking god Jesus H. mother sun-dried trombone tyrannosaurus Christ.

He touched. My hand.

Well, to be technical about things, it was more like a "graze." Mmmm, but what a graze it was. Twas the graze of champions.

Edward Norton grazed my hand and used my uniball vision elite pen and held it admiringly afterwards.

I wanted to say something totally cheesey like "yeah, I feel totally cheesey saying this, but you're my inspiration. You act so amazingly natural onscreen; you make me want to be an actor. And by the way, you got gipped at the Oscars."

But I was thinking about too many other things.

Like his big, genious eyebrows.

And his sad little puppy dog lips.

And his new goatee. It makes him look like Satan on one of his good days.

And how I just watched him in a big, scary movie and now he's in front of me, using my uniball vision elite pen to graze my hand and give me his autograph and tell me good luck in college.

And Satan on a good day.

And prettyprettypretty Norton-tastic eyes.

And I'm as tall as him.

And he said "no problem".

...

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Oh, and Red Dragon is a really good movie too. You should see it, because I met Edward Norton.

And I know he's just a guy and stuff.

But come on.

EDWARD "the best actor in the world" NORTON.

And as I've recently discovered, "Joaquin" (pronounced "wah-keem") makes a really good exclamation.

But whatever, that's not as interesting as the fact that I JUST MET EDWARD NORTON!

And you know, he is so the real American Idol. What's with this gnarly Kelly Clarkson chick?

"Real American Idol, that's Ed-ward-NORTON!"

(that's sung to the tune of the G.I. Joe theme, by the way)

(I'm sorry, I'm not very articulate right now, seeing as how Edward Norton just grazed my hand and wished me good luck in college).

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