When I was little and I got mad I would spell out curse words.

Even with my friends.

G-o-d-d-a-m-n it.

And I used to get chills when I'd say "fuck." It was so unexplainably dirty. I felt like such a little badass.

I remember the first time I said it loud enough for someone else to hear...

I was walking with my friend Sarah in the 7th grade at lunchtime, and the boy I liked at the time had just found out that I had a crush on him.

It got quiet for a minute.

Then I said with as much conviction as my 12 year old body could muster, "Fuckity-fuck fuck FUCK!"

Then she started laughing.

And now I know why.

But anyway, I am marrying Beck. I am marrying him because he said this:

"Goin' back to Houston,
Do the hotdog dance.
Goin' back to Houston,
To get me some pants."

He also wrote the song "Jackass." My, that's a beautiful ditty.

He also said something about how he equates the feeling of performing onstage to making love or being on a rollercoaster.

He said that's what it's like for him.

Unnh.

Any boys out there reading this who want to get in my pants, say "making love" instead of "fucking." And go to Houston to get some pants. And say other weird stuff. And you know, be Beck.

I think the idea of me having sex is funny.

If you want to talk dirty to me, please, say "spatula." Say "there's an astroturf monacle working overtime at the marker factory." Say "Yo soy un disco quebrado; yo tengo chicle en el cerebro."

That shit gets me hot.

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