Do some people just, I don't know, scare you? For no apparant reason, you just can't talk around them? I mean, it's not like you find them attractive -- ok, maybe they're kind of good-looking. But that's not the reason why you can't talk around them. You don't know the reason. You can talk to plenty of good-looking people without excessive discomfort. But there is just something about these kids that scares you.

There's this radar that goes off in your head before you say something to them. Like that voice that tells you, "no, do NOT place your hand in the campfire. OUCH. BAD."

And is it just me or does that voice sound a lot like Gilbert Godfrey?

And then you wonder to yourself, "hey, how did he get in my inner monolouge?"

All the while you're standing in front of this unexplainably scary person making the situation even more uncomfortable, because you have just incorporated the dreaded "awkward silence."

Of course by thinking about this awkward silence lengthens the pause, and the tension.

So then you try to cover it up and say something like "Alright... love the shoes! Keep it up! Catch you later!" and start to shuffle away.

But then you glance back at their face and they're wearing this confused look. But can you blame them?

No, you can't. Because you are a jackass.

Then as you're walking away you think, "God! What is wrong with me? Nobody else thinks they're scary. Why do they frighten me so?"

I think I am scared of these people because they're going to grow up to be politicians and child pornographers.

And those are scary things to be.

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