So I'm on the internet, being a geek, when it hits me...

I could be watching the Brave Little Toaster on Disney right now.

So then I decide to tell you people that, and then go watch it.

Summer is golden!

Television rocks my face off!

*********

Alright. So I have some issues with this movie.

I first saw it when I was about 4 years old, and it really had a profound effect on me. I've always, as silly as it sounds, identified with appliances and inanimate objects and felt really guilty when I throw them away. Even today, nearly 13 years later, I'm still overly compassionate to well...objects.

Because of the damn movie.

Kids shouldn't be allowed to see this movie.

There is some very heavy shit present in this movie.

Downright disturbing, when you think of it. The whole junkyard scene is really traumatic.

Plus, Jon Lovitz does the voice of the radio. I realized this halfway through the movie, and for the remainder of it whenever the radio talked (which was a lot) all I could see was Jon Lovitz's head in its place.

That's another thing. Why do all the other appliances go by their given names (i.e. "lamp" or "toaster"), yet they call the vaccuum "Kirby?"

And is it just me or is the toaster totally assexual?

No, that sounds weird, but if you've seen the movie you'd be able to tell that each appliance is assigned a gender.

Except for the toaster. It's got a really high, androgenous voice. It sounds kind of like the voice of the claymation kid on the Mountain Dew commercial. You know, the kid who says "we got hosed, Tommy. We got hosed."

The blanket is also questionable, but I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be a guy. A really snuggly, clingy, small, yellow, blanket-shaped guy.

And the toaster isn't really that brave until the end. It's kind of a minor player of the five main appliances, actually. They all have very distinguishable character traits, but the toaster is just this weird assexual guy who hangs around.

Also, the appliances always need to carry this battery around with them, yet they are almost never plugged into it. It gets lost about 3/4 into the movie, and they still seem to function ok without it. What gives?

Their cords and power needs sporadically come into play throughout the movie. In real life they would need full-time pluggage.

And when making this, I'm sure realism was a major concern.

...

Wow.

I just analyzed a movie called "The Brave Little Toaster."

I need to get laid.

<< >>