So today I showed up at school for my senior portraits, only to discover that the school was empty save for a few stray custodians and some 7th graders playing basketball (why?!?).

Yes friends, as I've recently learned, today is June the 11th. The day before June 12th. The day before my scheduled appointment.

Upon reflection though, I think I should've just camped out at school until tomorrow morning. Then I could act really excited when the photographers show up and ask them for autographs and stuff.

You know, like they do for Star Wars movies.

Those people make me smile with condescending pity. Their life is Jar Jar Binks. I repeat: Jar. Jar. Binks.

Not that my life is so incredibly prestigious to begin with; but I do think that's taking "cute movie hobby" to the extreme a bit.

It's like, maximum hobby obsession.

But anyway.

I'm taking a belly dancing class with Lindsay. How she swindled me into doing such a thing is pretty unbelievable. I think she's really a gypsy.

Limey gypsies. Always...gypping...and things.

"Gypping?" Is that even a word?

I don't know, but this is a bill of all rights.

You type in what you want this gang of monotonous robot voices to say, and they'll say it back real nice for you.

Here are some ideas:

"Don't hate the player, hate the game. Now watch me get with this silkyfine honey and work my groove." (but get Reiner to say it, he's got German flava)

"Take your shirt off. Twist it round your head. Spin it like a helicopter."

"Donut binky spanko veloceraptor, fart face underpants."

"Oh, me so horny!"

"Say my name, beeyotch. Say it. Say 'Big Poppa Mike US English rocks me like a hurricaine!'"

"She-it, I will not put that in my mouth! Momma didn't raise no foo'."

"I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from yo' head to yo' toes. And I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'. Then I wanna, ahh ahh - you make it so good I don't wanna leave. But I gotta, kn-kn-kn-know what-what's your fan-ta-ta-see?"

Actually, that Mike US English really does rap it out a little.

"Sheeit." Heh. It makes me grin so much.

There's a little homeboy inside of that robot, just waiting to bust da' hell out.

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