Yes, ladies and gentleman - it's official.

I am going to go to a Ben Folds concert and attempt to bear all of his children. And do you know why? Because the man is a fucking musical genious.

And we'd have cute babies.

So speaking of procreation...

I want to get me some of that.

It's not that I'm horny or desperate. Really. I'm not. I'm just bored. And some form of male contact would be nice.

So if you're cute, have a penis, and are between the ages of 16 and 20 -- by all means drop me a line.

You know what's weird?

Asian women love me.

Seriouslly.

Almost every Asian woman who I've met has been outrageouslly sweet to me.

They like, smile and tell me I'm pretty and shit.

Which is nice, I guess...I'm not complaining. I just find it a bit odd that it's just them. Maybe I have some kind of Asian-attracting aura about me that just sucks them in.

Like moths to a lamp, baby.

Watch out Japan.

I'll steal all your ladies.

They just cannot resist this.

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