Aaaaagh.

My notable lack of savior faire is starting to bother me.

Well. It's always bothered me. But now more than ever.

See, I do have tact to an extent. I'm great with people I don't know. Or my friends. Well, basically everyone but him.

I'm using "him" abstractly, as a stand-in for any member of the male sex I've ever had romantic interest in. The "him" in my life.

Take Prom for example. I had a lot of fun; serious amounts of good times were being had. Especially by me, I think. He (the "he" being my date, Ryan) said he enjoyed himself too, but I don't know. I worry that he was only being nice to me because he feels sorry for me. It feels odd to think he might think that.

I'm just not used to guys being that nice to me. Even him.

I think he's an exceptionally wonderful person. There are so many great things about him. He's funny in a think-about-it sort of way. Which is the funniest way to be. He doesn't put up a false persona, he's just himself. All of the time. And I greatly admire that. He's so smart. He's so...wow.

Plus, he's pretty cute (insert goofy blushing computer smiley face here).

We went out on the dance floor and shot toothpicks through straws at random people. (And we danced a little, too).

So anyway. Back to my lack of tact.

That's really all, I just want more of it. But to quote the wise words of Mr. Mick Jagger, "you can't always get what you want."

He's...well...I don't know how I feel about him (Ryan, not Mick Jagger). I like him. Not "like that." But I guess I do. Kinda. But only if he likes me. But I don't think he knows if he does. So, it's hard to say.

I'm just happy to be friends with him. I think that's a good place to be. Safe.

Hmm. Maybe I should take a break from matters of romance. I'm sick of getting hurt. Really sick of it.

But it's so fun to be on that roller coaster. Even when it's mainly downhill.

P.S. - I really like the Eels, and you should too.

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