(And yes, I did get this idea from unemployed. But it's a good idea.)

10. Rick Moranis
I've loved you since the second grade, Ricky. I think it's about time we quit playing these foolish games, and you made me Margaret Megan Matlock Moranis.

9. Jason Lee
I'm diggin' that eyebrow, baby.

8. Seth Green
Seth stopped making good movies a long time ago; but that can easily be forgiven.

7. Val Kilmer (as Jim Morrison)
Val and me have a special deal. We're only married when he acts like Jim Morrison. He's cool with it.

6. The Four Original Members of Weezer
Yes. All four of you. And I know Pat's already married. And Matt Sharp fell off the planet. But that's alright. The rest of you boys can play beautiful music to me all day long.

5. Steve Martin
Little Stevie is old enough to be my dad, or granddad in some cultures. But that's okay. Because he once portrayed Navin R. Johnson in "The Jerk". And he has a special purpose.

4. Edward Norton
Edward is my soulmate. Period.

3. Jim Morrison
But honestly...who doesn't want to do it with Jim Morrison?

2. Tom Cruise
Tommy baby, I don't care if you're gay, or short, or divorced Nicole Kidman (you assface, if I were a guy she would definetly be on my list) -- our love is too strong to let these petty complications get in the way.

1. Mark Wahlberg
Something about Mark's face makes me want to completely submerse him in whipped cream and then lick it all off. Which tells me that he's going to make a GREAT husband.

Honorable Mentions go to Wes Bentley, Patrick Fugit (of "Almost Famous" fame), the kid from "Billy Elliot," and Harrison Ford.

<< >>