But the good part is, I have lunch with Dan Leibensperger. Which makes school lunch a little more delicious, because of all that eye candy.
9:51 p.m. on 01-31-02


This is officially the week from hell. Want to know why? Great. Keep reading.

My best friend is being a total weiner to me. We've always you know, joked around about each other and "playfully" poked fun at each other. Which I've been eh, ALRIGHT with. But sometimes it feels like she's not kidding, and is really putting me down. I've never had a friend make fun of me the way she does. Never. And I don't think best friends are supposed to make each other feel like that. All of my best friends in the past have acted like they, well, like me. Call me crazy, but I think that's how it's supposed to be.

So, today at lunch she made some crack about how no guy will ever want to touch me...and how my chest is inadequate or something asinine like that, which really pissed me off in the moment...so I dumped a bag of popcorn on her head. Yes. That is how mature I am.

It was the closest thing in reach, and she really did take it a little too far. So, whomp. The remainder of the bag (maybe about 2 tablespoons of crumbled popcorn-residue) slid off of her head leaving essentially no odor or ghost of itself there. No harm done.

Then she told me, "Fuck you, bitch." And wouldn't talk to me the rest of the period. It's so stupid. And yes, I know it was childish for me to do that; but in the past when I've told her to stop nothing has improved, so I just decided to take it down to her level and resort to childish, schoolyard behavior.

It seemed effective enough, though. High school drama at its most immature.

I need her to leave me alone. I need her to stop taking out her issues she has with her older sister out on me. Her family is severely repressed. She can't get mad at anyone. But she does, and instead of talking it all out like a normal person she's just...mean. Grrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

Also, she brags about her academic achievements. Which are ok - nothing extraordinary, and nothing that I couldn't accomplish if I really cared about accomplishing. But that's not what I'm interested in.

It's almost as if she's trying to make me think she's better than me or something. Which she's not...I don't think either of us are better than the other, but it's just that she *thinks* she's getting to me that gets to me. Why is she doing that?!?? Why?!

I think she's a neat person already. She doesn't have to prove anything to me. There's this weird competitive dynamic to the friendship now. I don't like it. She's always talking about how cool her other friends are, and then insulting the hell out of me. Best friends don't do this to each other.

I also have a preview of an upcoming, most likely very large and very painful blister on my thumb from playing guitar sans pick tonight. Oh. My poor, virginal, baby soft thumb-skin. *Sigh*.

Well, anyway...wanna hear what else sucks?

I made callbacks for the musical. (Wow, Megan, that really sucks!). Yeah, right I know. But I know I didn't get a lead part. They were after school today and I completely butchered everything we had to do. I couldn't believe I was sucking so royally. I mean, if they gave awards for sucking I would definetly win the gold medal. If I were watching myself from the audience I'd probably be crying. Or hiding under something.

Damn it. Damn it all to hell. =megan=




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