Don't you hate it when people who you think are real bastard people just...turn out to be - what's that word - nice? Yes. Well, in a way it's good, because misconceptions being proved wrong are always good; but when you really want to dislike a person, and you probably should because of the way they treat other people, but then they make you feel all terrible for not liking them by saying something totally unexpected. You know? No, you probably don't.

Anyway. This is all centered around this benign event that happened after school today with someone I barely consider an acquaintance. And them saying something nice to me, and being a bigger person. But needless to say I feel like an assface for thinking/saying all of these mean things about them now.

Oh. Um, auditions for the musical are coming up next week. See, it's not just a monolouge and song anymore. We have to DANCE. This is bad. Because I'm just not understanding the dance we have to do. I get my feet mixed up and I run into things. Because I was not born to boogie. No. It's a 3-person dance, too, and we all have different parts. Just to screw me up a little more.

That's really the only thing I'm worried about...my monolouge is good, it's emo (but not in a musical sense), it's memorized. It's, if anything, over-practiced. We have to sing two songs, too. Oh, the play is "Cinderella" by the way. The first song is cute and fun, Stepsister's Lament, but the second song is unnaturally high. We have to sing the ugliest note ever written. So screechy. Eeeeuucckk.

Well, enough of that.

I really wonder what people think of me. Somehow I think it's the opposite of what I think of me. It was really surprising when Tracy said all that stuff to me in the car a few months ago. She just...totally turned my self-concept around, and told me perhaps the most sincerely nice things I've ever heard. She said I was funny. She said I was the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen. She made me cry.

No one has ever been that nice to me before. Thank you, Tracy.

I wish people were just nice to begin with. We have all of these false pretenses and ideas that we're not supposed to like each other. At least in high school, anyway. And they're all just so stupid. People not liking people is stupid. We're all in this together.

That sounds hypocritical because of the first half of this entry and me talking about how I don't like this girl...but I don't know. I guess I'm just realizing that it's pointless to not like people. Hm. Yeah.

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