I have a question. Why do my friends have to have such good taste in guys? Tell me, friends, why must you.. just.. agh. Make me feel like an asshole for admiring those that I do. Maybe that's the reason why the "crush" I had on Ryan lasted that long. Because no one else liked him like that.* Heh. Sorry, Ryan.

It's so typical and catty and adolescent (even though I am an adolescent, it doesn't mean that I enjoy it) and I can't stand one more minute of it. She likes him, and he likes me, and I like him but she likes him; and he's going out with her but I like him and such and such blah blah blah into eternity. That's all I hear. And experience. All day. Why can't we all just get along? Or maybe this is all just all in my head.

But really, when you come down to it, all of my "potentials" are either ex-boyfriends of my friends, boys my friends are in love with or used to be, or...boys I would really never want to associate with. They all drive me insane. Some people don't even seem to care.

Anyway, that's over and done with. My venting. It's been vented.

Agggh. Maybe not...

Matt, trumpet/bass guy, hasn't called me for a long, long time. This is why I hate telephones. Such anxiety. Such confusion. It's that stupid girl "oh but he said he'd call and he hasn't called what's wrong with me?!?!" thing. So frustrating. Do I just call him? What? At a ripe old age of 16, I'm new at this, sadly. I'm not a late bloomer. It's just that nobody likes me. Why? It's beyond me.

Why must you boys do this to me? Why? I'm a decent girl, just looking for a little lovin'. I don't have any hygeine problems, mood or personality disorders, third arms, sexually transmitted diseases, or rashes. Isn't that enough? Goddamnit, ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?!?!!??!?!

Alright. NOW I'm done venting.

*Note: Upon revisal, I'm correcting this statement. This entry was written during a very stormy mood. And, well, that's really not the reason why I liked Ryan. I liked Ryan because he was Ryan. And he's a cool guy. Alright. End revison.

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