I want to be feeling something else right now. Anything else but this. This indescribable feeling which can be nice sometimes, but now it just makes me want to die or...something. It's like every feeling I could possibly have are all mushing together into this big, sad nothing. I don't know what it is. My head hurts. I have cramps. Ouch. It smarts.

But despite this, the sky is really beautiful this evening. I think through this window I have the best compact view of the sky. Ever since we moved and got a computer I can remember sitting here, typing myself silly, and looking at the sky through my window. It's always there.

I went Christmas shopping today, and had my interview with the People to People, um, people. It went ok. I really want to go to Australia with them this summer. Hope I made myself look good. So, that was today.

I took some ibuprofen. It's not helping. Why are they called pain killers if they don't heal the pain?

The moral of the story: I need a boy. I need someone to hold me.

Current music: Dashboard Confessional - "Anyone, Anyone?"

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