I was watching tv downstairs, and I don't know why, but I just felt this urge to go look outside. So I did. And do you know what? It was beautiful out there. There was this huge, brilliant ring around the moon. So I just stood out there for awhile, looking. And then I had to pee. But after I took care of that, I went back outside.

I've always loved looking at the sky, especially at night. The stars amaze me, because when I look at them I'm looking at light that's millions of years in the past. And it's always perfect, always constant. Thousands of years ago the night sky probably looked the same as it does today. Well, except with a lot less polution. And probably a lot less airplanes, too.

We really take nature for granted. It's the one constant thing in our lives, yet we just destroy it with our big conglomorate buildings and our identical subdivisions. God, or.. whoever.. gave us this beautiful thing, and we literally walk on it without a second thought.

I use the term "God" loosely. There's a reason. I've never been a big fan of organized religion, because it doesn't make sense to me to devote an entire portion of my life to something I'm unsure of.

These people are so fixated and so positive that they know exactly what's going on, and exactly who put us here, and exactly what their belifs are. Have they ever even met God? Or are they just too afraid of going to Hell that they never open their minds and question what's going on?

Have you ever been in a heated arguement, and halfway through realize that you're completely wrong? That's what it's like for me. I can't be too sure about anything, because when all of this is finally over it might turn out that I've thought all of the wrong things and devoted my life to something that's false. Which I guess doesn't sound too bad, but.. I'd rather not.

I do believe in God, though. Or some supreme form. I don't believe, however, that God is going to hate me and send me to Hell if I have sex before I'm married, or if I don't go to church on Sunday, or break some other sacred rule that we as a society set up for ourselves and say that God told us to, and that by following really doesn't serve a higher purpose; it just makes us feel satisfied with ourselves for being exceptional beings and doing what we're told is right.

We think we have it all figured out. We think what we do here on Earth is so important, and that this is the only existance we'll ever know. Hell, even I think that. It's because all of this seems so real. But what I really think is that we're just all scared; and we're clinging to each other in hopes that when we're at our most vulnerable we'll have someone to take along with us.

This all sounds very abstract, and when I actually write down what's going on in my head it just sounds naiive and self-righteous. Which is why I usually don't write or talk about my philosophies on life.

I'm not meaning to offend or provoke anyone here, either. These are just my views, and I ask you to respect them. No one asked you to read all of this. But here you are, at the bottom of the page, because you brought yourself here.

It's late. I get very floopy when it's late. =megan=

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